Understanding Failure to Launch Syndrome in Young Adults: Causes, Impacts, and Solutions
The transition from adolescence to adulthood can be both exciting and challenging. However, some young adults find themselves struggling as they embark on this journey, facing what is commonly known as Failure to Launch Syndrome.
This phenomenon refers to the prolonged delay or inability of young individuals to achieve independence and take on adult responsibilities.
In this blog post, we will explore the causes, impacts, and potential solutions for Failure to Launch Syndrome, shedding light on this prevalent issue affecting many of today’s young adults and their families.
Failure to Launch Syndrome is characterized by a range of symptoms:
Poor work ethic
Low distress tolerance
Low levels of motivation
Low levels of persistence
High expectations of others without reciprocating
Failure to take responsibility
Lack of vision (for the future or long-term goals)
Lack of skills needed for adulthood (basic cooking and cleaning skills)
The syndrome often manifests as a reluctance to take on adult responsibilities or engage in activities associated with independence, such as completing college, gaining full-time employment, pursuing further education, living on one’s own or with friends, achieving financial independence, or establishing a significant love relationship and starting a family of their own.
Related: Emerging Adulthood: The Struggle Is Real (but Manageable)
Living at Home vs. Failure to Launch: Know the Difference
Fact: According to the Pew Research Center, 25% of young adults aged 25-34 lived in a multigenerational household in 2021, most often in the home of a parent. Those without a college degree are more than twice as likely to live at home as college graduates.
The increase in adult children living with their parents has been interpreted by the media as evidence of a Failure to Launch Syndrome “epidemic.” While that may make for catchy headlines, this trend can be attributed to a variety of factors.
Not every instance of young adults living with their parents is an indicator of Failure to Launch Syndrome. In fact, in many cultures, multicultural households are the norm.
Numerous current social trends have contributed to the growing number of young adults living with their parents over the past decade. For starters, many young adults are staying in school longer or going back to school for an advanced degree.
Financial and economic pressures—including staggering levels of student debt and rising housing costs—have driven many young adults back home to save money on rent and other living costs.
The COVID pandemic resulted in more work-from-home and hybrid jobs than ever before, making it possible for many adults to work from anywhere. Many young adults have embraced the opportunity to use their parents’ homes as “home base,” while traveling the country—or world—or just to save some money.
The pandemic and volatile political environment also created uncertainties in the economy and workforce, causing many young adults to rethink their career choices—or postpone committing to a long-term career altogether.
The Roots of Failure to Launch Syndrome
Young adults delay the launch of full-fledged adulthood for a variety of reasons. In most cases, multiple factors converge. Examples include:
Overprotective Parenting: While typically well-meaning, overly protective parenting styles, such as helicopter or snowplow parents, can hinder a young adult's development of essential life skills, leading to dependency and a lack of motivation to take on responsibility.
Fear of Failure: A lack of self-confidence or fear of failure can paralyze young adults, preventing them from taking risks and pursuing their goals.
Mental Health Challenges: Underlying mental health conditions, such as anxiety or depression, can contribute to the development or exacerbation of Failure to Launch Syndrome. These conditions may impede motivation and hinder necessary steps towards independence by creating difficulty with emotional regulation in response to stress.
Economic Factors: Economic instability, high living costs, and limited job opportunities can discourage young adults from venturing out on their own, leading to a sense of dependency on their families.
Trauma: If a teen or young adult has experienced trauma, day-to-day life can already seem difficult. If they are also trying to plan for their future, they can easily become overwhelmed, which can lead to failure to launch.
Substance Abuse or Gaming Addiction:
Drinking
Drinking can cause social, academic, and physical problems as well as memory problems, long-term changes in the brain, and an increased risk of suicide*. According to the 2020 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, alcohol is the most commonly used substance among people 12 and older.
Marijuana Use
Marijuana use has been on the rise. Among young adults ages 19-30, it increased significantly in the past few years, from 34% in 2016 to 43% in 2021, according to a National Institutes of Health-supported Monitoring the Future study. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, short-term effects of marijuana use include impaired body movement and memory as well as difficulty thinking and problem-solving.
Technology or Gaming Addiction:
We have more access to technology than any other generation before. However, while that can be helpful, frequently or constantly being connected to the Internet can make it harder for some teenagers and young adults to learn social skills needed for the real world. Too much screen time can also be problematic.
Social media can also be a cause of failure to launch, according to Hofer, as it showcases who’s doing — or appears to be doing — well and what everyone is up to on a daily basis. If a teenager or young adult doesn’t feel they’ve lived up to those standards, it can affect their motivation and ambition.
Negative Impacts of Failing to Launch
Failure to Launch Syndrome can pose significant challenges for young adults, impeding their personal growth and hindering their transition to independence. It can have a variety of negative ripple effects, including:
Emotional Consequences: Failure to Launch Syndrome can lead to emotional distress, including feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and a sense of being left behind compared to peers.
Strained Relationships: The prolonged dependency on parents or guardians can create tension and strain in family relationships, leading to resentment and frustration for both parties involved.
Stagnation in Personal Growth: Young adults with Failure to Launch Syndrome may miss out on valuable opportunities for personal growth, skill development, and independence, which can hinder their long-term prospects and potential.
Ready, Set, Launch: 6 Ways to Support Young Adults through the Process
Failure to Launch Syndrome isn’t unsurmountable. But it won’t likely resolve on its own.
Helping young adults successfully launch into adulthood requires strong communication, respect, and support. Following are a few tips to keep your relationship with your young adult intact as you encourage them to spread their wings and fly the coop:
1. Make an agreement about how things will work at home
Both parents and young adult children living at home should recognize that their relationship must evolve in a way that respects everyone’s needs.
Families will need to thoughtfully negotiate expectations and boundaries in order to allow a young adult to continue healthy development toward autonomy. Otherwise, the situation can become a source of resentment for both parents and their adult children. Some parents and adult children create a written contract so the expectations and consequences are clear to everyone.
2. Be honest with yourself about your parenting style
Before diving in to help your adult child, reflect on your parenting style. Is the way you treat your child building their trust in themselves? Studies show that an over-involved and over-controlling parenting style (often referred to as “helicopter parenting” or “snowplow parenting”) is tied to increased rates of anxiety and depression. Get input from a trusted friend or therapist for a compassionate but objective appraisal.
Need to make some adjustments to your parenting style now that your child is older? It’s okay to ask for support for you. No parent is expected to have all the answers all the time.
3. Promote Self-Reliance
Many young adults don’t rely on themselves because they’ve never needed to. Things have been done (or decided) for them, rather than by them. Hence, they lack trust and confidence in themselves.
In addition, many adult children lack financial literacy and other “real-life” knowledge.
Encouraging young adults to take on responsibility gradually can help build their independence and self-confidence. This can be done by assigning age-appropriate tasks (e.g., cooking dinner for the family two nights a week, doing their own laundry, making appointments, etc.), promoting accountability, and encouraging decision-making.
Educating young adults about financial management, budgeting, and responsible money practices can empower them to become financially independent and take control of their lives.
4. Encourage your child to explore their options without pressuring them to commit
Remember that for most people, the transition to adulthood is a gradual process of discovering a role that fits. Prematurely committing to a path that does not align with a young adult’s skills, interests, and values can set the stage for future problems. Let your child know that it’s okay to change their mind—the important thing is to try things to see how they feel.
Exploring alternative career paths, vocational training, or further education opportunities can help young adults gain new skills, boost their career prospects, and increase their sense of purpose.
5. Help your adult child set realistic goals
Target small increments of change that move a young adult in the right direction and celebrate those achievements. Lifestyle changes, such as sleep, nutrition, and physical activity, may be a good place to start because of the role they play in supporting mental health. In-person social connections also provide far-reaching benefits.
6. Seek Professional Help
If underlying mental health issues are contributing to your child’s Failure to Launch Syndrome, seeking professional support from therapists or counselors can be instrumental in addressing the root causes and facilitating progress.
Family therapy can also facilitate progress. Therapists who specialize in viewing the family as an interconnected system can help rebuild broken trust and long-standing attachment ruptures between parents and children. A family therapist can also help parents understand how a change in their own behavior may be the most effective way to produce a change in their child.
Avoid the “Accommodation Trap”
Whatever the origins of a young adult’s suffering from failure to launch, the way a family reacts is an important part of the dynamic. It is natural to want to help a child who is struggling, whether they are in active distress or in avoidance mode.
But there is a difference between helping a child avoid anxiety vs. offering a child the support they need to learn to overcome their anxiety. Psychologist Eli Lebowitz, who specializes in helping families of children with anxiety and OCD, calls this the “accommodation trap.”
Well-intentioned parental overinvolvement can actually worsen a child’s symptoms. But it can be difficult to know how to step back.
Parents who feel at a loss for how to help their struggling child usually focus on trying to get the child to change. I would encourage parents to focus on changing their own behavior first. The shift from providing protection to offering support is a delicate process. Parents must take care to communicate acceptance of their adult child’s feelings, as well as confidence that they can overcome their fear.
Parents may want to use the following wording:
Acceptance: “I accept that you are afraid and acknowledge that what you are feeling is real and legitimate. I am not trying to deny your experience or to belittle it.”
Confidence: “I have faith in your ability. I know you can cope and believe you are strong enough to face this challenge successfully.”
Even with these messages of acceptance and confidence, long-standing patterns of dependency and accommodation are difficult to shift. Awareness, determination, and support are necessary in order to help a young adult move forward with a sense of confidence and self-efficacy.
By understanding the causes, impacts, and solutions associated with Failure to Launch Syndrome, we can provide young adults with the necessary support, resources, and guidance to overcome these obstacles and embark on a successful path toward a fulfilling adulthood.
It’s OK to ask for help.
If you’re interested in learning more about psychotherapy for emerging adults — or parenting support for yourself — please contact us by submitting this form or calling us at 847-729-3034. We’ll be happy to answer any questions you might have.
